‘I take it back, I’m not a writer’

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Something you might not know about me is that I love to write. I honestly and truly love it. I do it almost daily but if ever I don’t I’ll still be planning things out in my mind as I’m gazing out the window on the bus or taking a walk.

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I mostly write about myself, my life and thoughts. It settles my mind and helps me figure things out sometimes. Anyway the point of this post wasn’t to declare my love of writing so I’ll just get to the main point.

When I meet new people I tend to tell them about my love of reading which is followed by my love of writing. Then the person asks to read something I’ve written and suddenly

‘I take it back, I’m not a writer’

I pretty much back track and then suddenly I’m the definition of nervous. Some of what I write is very deep and personal, even dark at times. Sharing that for me is a big deal. It’s the equivalent of stripping bare. It’s terrifying.

But a couple of weeks ago when someone asked to see my writing the words of someone significant I met last year came to mind. I don’t remember the exact statement but it was something about not being afraid of criticism as it would make me a better writer.

At the time I was still too scared to share the words I had written but later that day whilst gazing out the window on the bus I thought ‘Maybe I ought to just feel the fear and do it anyway, what’s the worst that could happen?’

Actually the worst case scenario would be 7 guys laughing and taking the piss out of me whilst the 8th tried to convince me my writing ‘isn’t that bad’.

But despite my anxieties I know that it is good to face your fears and do something that you are not totally comfortable with from time to time.

So next time, hopefully I’ll be brave enough.

Jimi

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