I’ve kept a journal for the past 10 years, more than half of my life. I now have 18 completed notebooks full of documentation of my life from pre-teen years until the beginning of my 20s.
A few months ago I began to wonder if I would always be this person. I wondered if I would still have to keep a journal when I was 30. I felt as though there would never come a time when I didn’t need to have a journal. I realised that I had become heavily reliant on writing down the things that occurred in my life and how I felt about them.
Keeping a journal had unintentionally encouraged me to keep things in. To have special things and little secrets left untold so they could be poured out onto the blank pages of my notebooks. Keeping a journal at times gave me a self-centred perspective on life because I had gotten into the habit of spending at least 5 days a week writing about myself and how I felt towards various aspects of my life. In doing so I often managed to completely overlook how other people might have felt.
But over the past few weeks my desire to write in my journal has decreased drastically. I’m happy living my life reading, writing, seeing friends and family, working on personal growth and making more of an effort to do creative things. Writing in my journal just doesn’t feel necessary anymore, not like it used to.
There have been days when I’m working on stuff at home and I just think to myself ‘I haven’t written in my journal for a while’ but unlike in the past my initial instinct is not to grab my notebook and start scribbling away about what I’ve been up to and how I’ve been feeling.
I believe that the past 10 years of journaling have served their purpose in my life and now I am at the point where I can stop. At this point in time I honestly think that I will be much happier putting my time and effort into not only writing blog posts, practising writing fiction and poetry but also doing things like sewing and drawing which I also enjoy.
Have you ever kept a journal?