Moving forward




I know I haven’t written for a long time (3  months to be precise) but I’m back and I have news.

I’ve finally created a self-hosted site called Words by gemm. I published my first post yesterday and I’m really looking forward to continuing my blogging journey on a new site. If you enjoy reading this blog then head on over to my new site and subscribe so you don’t miss out. If you check out my first post be sure to let me know what you think. I’ll be blogging about similar topics that you’ve read on this site but they’ll be a little more polished and I’ll also be sharing a little bit of beauty and fashion too.

Starting afresh is pretty daunting. But I’m learning that sometimes you have to be willing to try something that might not work.

When is the last time you tried something new?

p.s. I might still post here occasionally but for the most part I’ll be on my new site as well as Twitter and Instagram, so join me!


It’s 2017: What do you want from the next 12 months?



I’m currently feeling extremely unwell. I woke up with a terrible pulsating headache which is surprising since I spent last night watching Harry Potter and McLeod’s Daughters whilst eating popcorn.

I want to start of this year by letting you know that a new year should not be your sole reason for setting goals. All throughout the year you should be in a constant state  of growth and self-improvement. I will admit that in the past I’ve been very ‘new year, new me’ and declared on January 1st that I’d get fit and eat better which was rarely turned out as  much more than empty words.

What do you want this year to consist of?

Back for the fun of it


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I guess I’ll begin by saying that I have missed this a lot. I haven’t posted in almost 3 weeks. There are so many reasons why, like the fact that I’ve been pretty stressed and I’ve had a bunch of assignments due in recently. However the main reason is that I’ve really been questioning the whole thing of blogging and me. For the first time since December 2011 when I posted on my first ever blog I actually seriously considered quitting blogging. I would have these ideas for blog posts and then I’d ask my self:

‘What does the reader gain from this?’

‘Does this post have any real meaning?’

‘Will this be worth reading in a few weeks?’

I found myself at a point where I was questioning whether there was any significance to what I’m sharing. The answer I was coming up with was NO, so I stopped posting. But I didn’t stop writing which I am incredibly happy about. Sometimes I feel like everything I write is for a blog post so it was nice to write just for the sake of expressing myself for only myself. I ended up coming up with this idea for a collection of short musings titled ‘Tales from a park bench’. I go to this bench in a park quite often and when I’m sat there I tend to read, write, listen to music and take photos. Whilst sat on that bench, I’ll gaze at the water, sun, sky birds, people walking their dogs, parents with their children and couples taking a stroll. I sit there with no real aim but to relax yet I always end up writing. Sometimes it’s fact, sometimes fiction but often a combination of the 2.


Anyway blogging has been a constant in my life for over 4 years and I didn’t think I’d reach a point where I’d consider parting with it but I did. So then I was left to wonder, who am I without a blog? As the time passed I realised that even though blogging has become a big part of my life I’m perfectly fine without it. But I was starting to miss the fun of it and that’s when I realised it was time to get back.


Hello 2016!


I’m currently in my bed wearing cosy PJs with my blanket wrapped around me. Last night I went out I went out for New Years Eve but I honestly missed my cosy PJs and blanket very much.

I love the feeling I get when a new year rolls around. I know that by day 2 or 3 everything kinda just goes back to normal but the energy on January 1st is awesome.  It’s like anything is possible. Beginning day 1 of 365 making a sort of declaration of who we want to be as though that is what we will become.

Most people go wrong with New Years resolutions because it’s ‘all talk,with little action’. Maybe instead of trying to transform your whole life you can instead focus on one thing. Write down your resolution/goal in detail, break it down into steps if necessary. Make it tangible.

Personally I’m not really bothering with resolutions but my main aim is to Take it Easy. I have so much that I want to do this year in all aspects of my life and sometimes that can be overwhelming.


It’s not always easy to allow yourself to believe you are capable of achieving what you want but give yourself a chance and you might be surprised.

Happy New Year!

2015: The year of progress


There is no way I’ll be able to finish this post without feeling incredibly emotional.


I spent the first few weeks of this year feeling the blues. Then after one good day on February 11th I realised that things could actually get better. The next 9 months that followed were pretty up and down. They included ending my previous blog, starting a new blog from scratch, bad dates, new friends, being inspired, missing old friends, trying to figure out what I want to do with my life, struggling and coping.

In the summer I cut my hair down to less than 2 inches which was a very big deal for me because I did it for myself. I wanted to do it and I did and strangely there was no worry or fear about how I’d look.  wpid-collage_20150904191624043_20150904192208647.jpg

Once November rolled around everything slowly began to fall into place. It wasn’t that things changed physically, it was more mental maybe even spiritual. In November I began to understand myself. After a long time I was finally able to conclude why everything in my life was as it had been.

One of the biggest things I’ve realized this year is that I am in control. For a long time I’ve felt as though there is nothing I can do, like I’m on a roller coaster and all I can do is just sit back and hold on till it’s over. It’s like I’d suddenly realised that the controls were right next to me. Or lets use the analogy of being trapped in a prison and then realising ‘Oh, I have the key, I can actually escape this!’.


Something else I figured out is that I had become extremely comfortable in my old habits. These were negative habits from early childhood that had become part of my daily life. I don’t really like to use labels but what I will say is that my habits developed into symptoms of mental illness.

In the past 12 months through writing and reflection I’ve gotten to the root of my issues. I haven’t completely solved them all because it doesn’t work like that but I understand myself and they way my mind works so much better. By sorting out one major issue in my life it kind of had a domino effect. Every aspect of my life has improved.

The first 6 months of 2015 I was blogging on snippets of this life and I was doing really well but I decided I wanted a new challenge. So 6 months ago I started this blog. It was at a time that I was transforming as a person and I wanted to create a blog for the person that I was becoming.jf-logo.jpg

In the post I did last year that you can find here, I wrote that  I was becoming more me which I actually think better sums up 2015.

Something else I’ve learnt is to break the cycle and know that whatever my circumstances, my life won’t change if I don’t take action.

I’m a work in progress and each day I strive to overcome the things that have limited me, each day I strive to be better.




The end of November


I’ve been trying to write a blog post for a couple of days now. The post is about how last month (towards the end) I had a powerful revelation unlike ever before.

I won’t go into detail right now or this post will end up being a couple thousand words at least. However what I will say is that I am currently at the best I have ever been. I feel like my mind had been whitewashed with a sadness for the past 7 years. This sadness remained no matter the circumstances. It wasn’t really just sadness though it was all of my negative emotions bundled into one.

Anyway that sadness isn’t their anymore. I don’t know exactly how it left but I know it’s gone. I know this because my negative emotions are no longer having that debilitating effect on me like they used to.

Along with that I also feel happier, calmer, less fatigue and an increase in my confidence.

I’m excited for what’s to come.