Today I had a mini revelation about spending time by myself. After a day of classes I stopped off at a park on my way home. I walked down the path and sat on a bench, then proceeded to listen to a podcast and gaze at the pool of water before me.
I hadn’t had a particularly stressful day but I just felt compelled to have some intentional alone time. I spend time by myself on a regular basis but the majority of the time I’m completing some sort of task like doing food shopping or running errands. However, I’m learning that there is great significance in spending time alone without an agenda. Sat on that park bench, I felt relaxed and at peace. It gave me time to reflect on my day. When I left the park I felt refreshed as though I’d just finished meditating. When I looked up at the sky I saw a rainbow and immediately felt a sense of bliss, as though it was a sign that I was exactly I was meant to be.
Sometimes it’s the little things that do you a world of good.
It’s been a few years since I last daily blogged. What started off as a month-long experiment was something I ended up sticking at for almost 3. I was in a transitional period of uncertainty and my blog became an anchor of sorts. However, I eventually stopped posting daily but told myself that I would try it again at some point in the future but I never did. It was easy for me to make excuses; the most popular being I don’t have anything to write about and I don’t have the time. But if I’d have been truly willing I’d have found a way.
At the start of this year I told myself that I would daily blog in January but ended up putting off till march which then became April. It’s now the April 1st and I don’t have anything prepared for the month but I think I’m finally ready to give daily blogging a go again. It was after reading an article (Seth Godin Explains Why You Should Blog Daily) about someone that inspires me that I got thinking about blogging everyday in the first place.
Reading that article made me remember what it was like when I posted daily. It wasn’t stressful or boring. It was fun and I welcomed the challenge of having to come up with ideas. It was an opportunity to be in a constant state of content creation. I haven’t been in that state for years.
I’ve gotten so lazy with blogging because even at my laziest I’m still putting out an average of 1 or 2 posts a week. But I’d like to do more than that, I think I need to.
The past 12 months have been pretty slow in terms of growth and content here on JtP. On average I posted about once a week but the quality of what I was sharing differed greatly as did the content. I think some of my content lacked focus and longevity something, which I plan to improve on. However I did create some content that I really love like Creating nostalgia on a Sunday and DIY chokers.
The end of December marks 5 years since I clicked publish on my first ever blog post. Blogging is really something that I’ve grown up with, it is a big part of my life. It has taught me so much about self expression and that I am not alone in my struggles.
Over the past few days I have found myself scrolling through the archives of my first ever WordPress blog. It was pretty interesting and some parts were a little embarrassing but most of all it was nice to see how much I have improved.
For at least half of my life I’ve had recurring feelings of loneliness, being unlikable and anxiety. Over time those things became key aspects of how I defined myself but lately that has changed. I feel different, very much unlike what I once thought was “me”. I’m having days where I catch myself thinking ‘How did my life get so good?’.
As the day turned to night I found myself dancing and singing with friends. I was feeling pure harmonic bliss, it had been a long time since I last felt this way, too long.